Happy new year! (new year's advice for myself)

 Good morning from Finland! 

When the year of 2024 started, I was on a short cruise with my friend and we watched on TV in our cabin when the new year arrived first in Finland and then in Sweden. We were on a cruise from Åbo to Stockholm. Really lovely ship (Viking line m/s Grace) and the best service ever! They are really helpful and kind.

I wrote in my notebook some advice for myself for 2024.

My motto for 2024: TRUST GOD.

My own advice for 2024:

Live in the moment

loose weight 10-15 kilograms

save money

read the Book of Mormon every day

Be brave, choose the right

don't judge anyone

be kind

develop:

-spiritually

-emotionally

-mentally

-intellectually

So far I have listened to the book of mormon yesterday on the 2nd of January 2024. I am going to try to follow all my own advice . Wish me luck! :) I used to make new year's promises but they have never actually helped me because I can't follow my promises 100%  and get easily discouraged...

More later!

Good Sabbath Day from Finland! :)

 Good morning!

Welcome back to my spiritual blog! 

I started a new kinda religion themed blog this spring: 

https://swefinnmissionarybonusmom.blogspot.com/

It's about me and my missionary family! :) I started adopting missionaries in 2021... Take a gander at my blog, there you can see when and why etc. I love the missionaries, always have and always will. They bring so much joy to my life. (Of course they have almost all left back home now, but there's always new ones arriving.

I have just learned that it is not common for members in the church to have a lot of friends outside the church? I didn't know that was a thng... I have always had friends outside of church. First of all, there were  no other mormons in my school (svenska samksolan, the Swedsh school here in my city, the only Swedish school here) and I have been to the hospital often during my life, I have found friends there too. And all my friends from church are working and I am on early retirement. They don't have time to meet me but I have a lot of time.

It's not good for me to be always alone, I can get anxiety and feel really bad.

That being said, I love to be alone at times. More time to think. :D

I have been feeling weird lately, my health has been weird lol. I feel a little better now.

I have been in a scripture-reading slump for a long time, I don't know where to start/continue... It is really challenging. I have a lesson next week on Sunday in Gathered in, the group for all European singles aged 31+. I am 43 so I fit the requirements lol. I will talk about some books in the New Testamment. I had the choice to choose my area and I chose those. My friend from Norway: Josef, will be my voice.

More later! :)

Hi...

Hello!

I'm back, yo! :) I have been updating my other blogs, sorry that I have forgotten a little about you...

I started a blog about me reading the entire Bible, from cover to cover, no time schedule, no hurry, no worry... It is a project that I have been starting with my friend. So far I have read Matt.1-3. I am really slow, I know. But with the Bible, it's good to take things slow. Here is the blog:

https://thebibleandcinders.blogspot.com/

I want to really savor and learn and ponder everything in the Bible, so it is completely fine to read only a few chapters a week. Yeah. I am happy I finally started this project. I cannot count the times I have read the Book of Mormon or Doctrine and Covenants... MANY: Every year I listen, continually, to the Book of Mormon with my Dad. He lives in another town, but we call each other and I put the Book of Mormon audio on from:

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/?lang=eng

We listen to it in English, because there are no other languages available and we want to read it in the "original language". lol. If you a Mormon, you know what I mean lol. Yeah, I know it sounds weird. I am weird. lol

I have had a really good week so far. I have prayed a little more than "usual". I swear, I was in a kind of prayer-slump last year... It was awful. I felt so much and such severe anxiety, it was almost impossible to pray. When 2020 arrived, it eased up. I pray in my mind mostly and mostly in Swedish, which is my first native tongue. I love prayer and I also have a prayer journal, but I haven't written in it all of 2020. It has been a while... I also have a gratitude journal. Same there. Have not written in it for a loooong while. Sorry. It is awful.

Then I have about 100 000 spiritual journals. lol. Just kidding, maybe like 10-15. I write mostly in English. It has become my "spiritual language". I had a talk at church last Sunday. I did not speak, my friend S read it out loud. Many people liked it. I might post it here. But be ye warned: it is in Finnish. lol

More later!

Hello!

Hi there!

This year has started very well indeed. I have been feeling better and more spiritual. At home and at Church. The Gospel teaches us to focus on the home, have family home evenings etc. I always get a little sad when they say that at Church. Like: "Get married young, have lots of kids etc." I'm like: "SURE." Whatever. It makes me sad. I cannot count the times people have tried to "help me". They really think I need to hear for the umpteenth time, that "The time will come, when you will get married. etc." Yeah. Really? HAHA. They really do not know me. They think I'm one of those "desperado sisters". Well, newsflash: If I was ever a "desperado sister" I most certainly am not anymore. MY DAD SAID: ONLY MARRY FOR LOVE. Now, that is something many sisters and brothers in the Church need to take in. How ever clever, smart, handsome whatever, a man thinks he is, he cannot change a lady's heart to love him! Especially if he thinks a little too highly of himself. LOL. Some men think they are God's gift to the world. Sorry, but not sorry, they are not.

There are so many different aspect to this thing we call LOVE. I lived in Sweden. Obviously, I was pretty ugly compared to those super-models... But it was good, because now I realize, I really didn't love any of my so-called crushes back then. HA! That is awful, but true...It felt good to be young in Stockholm. It is a lovely city, my heart will always have a place for Stockholm. Forever.

It is kinda fun to know some things about oneself, that people could never guess. For example, I have played the piano since I was 16 and have taught myself that. Nowadays, when I play on Sundays before the meetings, afterwards, at least two people come to me every Sunday and say: "What!? You can play the piano?!?" It is so fun. When people have pegged you for a really stupid, uneducated, mentally very ill person, with no talents, it feels good as heck to show off just a little. LOL

Same with men. So many people are like: "Cindy is so ill, no one will ever love her, she is so sick and fat and etc." Well, then when I have had boyfriends they're like: "That dude she is dating is HOT!" I'm like: "what did you expect?" LOL: Yes, sure, because I'm a little round and have pimples still, even though I'm 39, I do not deserve any less the same as you." Besides, beauty is inside and in the eye of the beholder.

Other thing that bothers me, is when people think they know the whole story. They are like: "Watch out for this or that!" or "Don't do that because it's like this..." How do they know every aspect of my life?!? I'm like:"I'm gonna eat this candy and it's my choice"... LOL.

But, seriously, showing off to people who think you are not worthy of love, have low IQ or something, that is the BEST. And they do not know anything about being you. True story.

Happy New Year!

Hello there!

I am sorry I did not write yesterday. I forgot and was tired. Our ward schedule changed. Now the meetings that I attend start 10.00 a.m. It is a bit early, because I need to leave home before 09.00 am. I play the piano before the meeting starts and I like to be early. Yesterday it was fun to play the piano. Many people who have thought me to have inferior intelligence, saw that I am not as stupid as they might think. It is amazing. A little pressing of black and white keys and suddenly you are not that bad! lol I still like the people best, who support me before they find out I am intelligent lol. Most of all, people who treat everyone the same, high iq, mental health issues or not. I have all kind of friends and I try to treat them the same. It is part of living with integrity. Be true, be yourself and treat everyone with respect.

Yesterday was the fast- and testimony -meeting. I bore my testimony as the first one of this decade in Tampere 1st ward. LOL. It was a really nice meeting. My friends were sitting next to me and everything was great. I am so happy and grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. It is the best. Yesterday I really felt this. I felt happiness and calm and peace.

Now I am listening to the soundtrack to The Muppets Christmas Carol -movie. It is really uplifting and beautiful, fun too.

Today I have been trying to continue my well-begun happy and spiritual new year 2020. It is so wonderful. To be alive, to be relatively healthy, to be pretty young still, to have friends, family, cats... I love music, books, my hobbies and everything lovely and good thing that are a part of my life. Life is good.

More later!

Happy New Year!

Hello there...

Sorry, my last post was a little depressing. I had a lot of anxiety. Now it's all gone! I'm my happy self lol. Today is Sunday, which means, blogging time!!!YaY! I am happy I have this blog. I created it a long time ago, I didn't know how long it would be "up and running" but I am glad it still is.

I admit it. I have lost sight of what is really important. There has been so much going on. Friends, family, a little drama and my cats getting ill sometimes... It is complicated, this thing called life. Today is Sunday. The Sabbath. Some things are easy to remember. Some things we need to be reminded of. Usually, every morning I listen to music via Spotify. Actually, yes, Every Morning. lol. I have started choosing better music, that is more spiritual/not so "worldly". I still like me some rap etc. but I try to choose music with better lyrics. Not so much swearing etc. I.E. UPLIFTING music. I also try to read better books. Not so sexy, not so violent etc. Now, do not get me wrong, I have never read 50 shades lol, I am very sensitive to the influences, so I have started reducing sexy books that are not always "considered" sexy books etc. It's pretty easy.

I have noticed that my mind slips to "worldly" things pretty often. Like not always 100% focused on the Lord. I know, it is pretty impossible, but I strive to think of Him as often as possible. When I find my mind slipping down to the depths of something, e.g. despair (lol), I try to remember Jesus and that He has suffered for my sins, depression, trials and other problems, so that I DO NOT HAVE TO.

He has been more on my mind lately, and my Patriarchal blessing, my blessings, my purpose in this life and such things. I have found a few purposes, that I like to write about in this post.

First of all, Temple work.
I am adopted. I come from a family who do not know about the Gospel. YET. I have decided to do a lot of family history work and go to the Temple to do work for my biological family members who have already passed. I am proud of my heritage. My musicality is from my Father.

Second, help the ones who are "outside".
I am part of many minorities. I know this has a meaning. I am a Christian, member of the Church of Jesus Christ. I am a Swedish-speaking Finn. I am a person, with mental health problems. I have been bullied at  school, in Church, at the gym etc. Yesterday two teens yelled swear words at me. Yeah, the list goes on... My job in this world is to break the stigma and assumptions people have of these groups of people. I am different. But there is a purpose in it.

Those are some of my thoughts for today.

More later!

Merry Christmas!

Hello there and Happy Christmas!

Sorry I didn't post every Sunday... It will be my goal for 2020. I have too many blogs lol.

This time Christmas has been a bit different. My parents are in their home in another town and I'm here in my home in my city. My auntie came yesterday and is staying until the 27th. I have been alone before on Christmas, at least nearly alone... But this time it's good that my auntie is here.

This year has been really rough. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Mentally: I have been worse a couple of times and spent a while in the hospital. Now the doctor is changing my medicine. The anxiety I have experienced has been horrible. Physically: My back has been hurting and I have difficulties walking. I have a "walker"... Spiritually: I have been going to Church every Sunday. I have been hanging in there, trying to hold on and be the best I can be. People in Church is the reason I get anxiety, and my illness. The Church is good, the Gospel is awesome, God is great. Just the people who are supposed to try to be good, don't always measure up. Neither do I! I am not perfect. They are not perfect. I wish they would try harder. I'm trying so hard it's wearing me out. My illness doesn't help one bit.

I know, I cannot blame people for being people. It's just that how far can bullying and judging go, before someone steps between and puts and end to it? Thank goodness I have many good friends in Church too. It's just that a few have been absolutely disgusting towards me... They think they're Really Good People. They smile and hug me and ask me how I'm doing... I really feel sorry for them. They are living in some kind of bubble.

Despite of all these trials, my Faith has been strengthened a lot. It has been hanging by a thread. It has been awful. I turn 40 next year, and maybe I'm having a "crisis" lol. I will try to become strong again. I have had a really big test of Faith. I hope to climb out of this rut. This Christmas I'm focusing on things that are important and try to pray a lot.

More later!