My faith journey in a nutshell
plus some of my thoughts and opinions
@Jakobstad, on Friday the24th of April 2026
My faith has been strengthened so much during the past few years of my life. I have noticed how much my mental health situation has changed. My underlying depression has been gone for a few months now and it keeps on getting better. I feel anxiety a lot less, a lot less frequently and lot less intensely. I feel as I am finally able to be myself, and I can see the diamond in me, I am valuable and I am of infinite worth. I am so grateful.
Lately I have been trying to prepare for Celestial marriage a lot. I study and want to learn how to be an excellent wife and a good friend and companion to my future husband. Mind you, I have no clue whatsovever who it could be. I might not have even met him yet. But I will never settle, I will never lower my standards, I will not comply with less. Because I deserve the best and FOREVER (?) it is a very long time. I don't want someone who is just "good enough". He needs to be perfect for me. Mind you, not PERFECT in every way, but someone who I can get perfect with, we can learn and grow TOGETHER.
Lately I have started to read my patriarchal blessing more and yesterday I started a project to go throuhg it all very closely and write my own opinions, feelings and thoughts on every sentence and word in it. First I write the sentece down and change the wording that it says "ME" and "I", making myself the protagonist and person that the blessing is for and about. It is very fun and interesting. Then I write my own reflections. I have just finished the first paragraph. LOL. It will take a really long time, but good things come to those who wait...
My friend sister Topham that is on a service mission with her husband in my city, has been helping me prepare for marriage. Without the help of her, her husband and the younger missionaries, I would never realise my true value, my true potential and eternal destiny and I wouldn't have any faith in myself, I wouldn't see me through "heaven's eyes" and I would not have any self confidence. Those things have helped me develop in many ways. My illness is maneagable and I am able and I have the energy and motivation to grow, learn and become the right one, for my future husband.
I love the gospel of Jesus Christ and I love Him, my Savior and friend. My friend sister Topham has promised to ask Him personally to heal me. I have a lot of health struggles, but I have been doing a lot better. I never thought I could be so happy and feel so healthy. Just so you know, mental health problems are really a lot more serious and difficult, because the mind is a lot less known, understood or treatable than somatic illnesses. Yet, I have been treated VERY POORLY because of my mental health issues. It is horrible. People have so much prejudice, less understanding and basically they are afraid of me and they really don't know anything about me.
Last year I was told the following:
I am too ugly to be married
I am too old to be married
I am too crazy to be married.
Thanks a lot! :D HAHA. All those people are FINNS, that told me those things. SHAME on them!!!
Because the missionaried have been encouraging me to learn more and keep on going, not to hate myself or think poorly about myself, I have been able to be happy and feel like the best is still ahead. Yes, it keeps on getting better. The solemn, serious and grim outlook that so many Finns have on life in general has made me and kept me depressed for too long! It is time for me to shine.
I have been watching a lot of YouTube, a lot about faith, religion and also politics. I am grateful for all that I have learned. My favorite atheist on YouTube is Jared:
Jared, if you read this, you are awesome and hope you will hang out with more Mormons! :)
All of these things I have been studying and concentrating on has taught me not to judge or be mean to anyone who doesn't share my opinions. I am a woke Mormon and I believe that Jesus is a liberal. He told us to love everyone, not judge anyone and He asks us to invite everyone to come unto Him. No one is excluded. Everyone has a place in the fold. I actively try to remove bigoted thinking, rasicm and homophobia from my own brain. I have succeeded a little, I still need to be vigilant and not fall back into the thoughts I used to have. I used to be pretty conservative. i have always been a little liberal though... :D LOL. Growing up with my wonderful cousins instead having siblings during my youth and childhood, my cousins are all very individual and they have all taught me a lot. I was adopted and I am so grateful for both my families but this has been the right place for me.
I don't remember what else I was supposed to say...
As Jared says: "Go to church!" :D LOL.
